Why I read books I know I disagree with.

I’ve become an avid reader over the last few years. Im up to 20 books under my belt for 2026 with a few more months to go and 5 open books on my desk & in my kindle (some of you are cringing at that). Some of these are school books, but most are leisure. I often come across statements, chapters, or even whole concepts I fundamentally disagree with. I’ve learned over the years to “eat the meat and spit out the bones” as one of my preaching school teachers said.

I challenged myself earlier this year to read a few books from people and perspectives that I know I differ with. I read Scott McKnights Blue Parakeet — a hermeneutics book that was helpful in some ways, but I differed in others. The specific book I want to bring up from earlier this year is Nijay Gupta’s book Tell Her Story: How Women Led, Taught, and Ministered in the Early Church.

Just for clarity, I have never been an advocate of female preachers/leaders in the Church, and I am still not an advocate for it. But this one of my favorite reads of the year! Some may ask, “Why would you waste your time?” or “How could you enjoy something you fundamentally disagree with?” Some have gone as far as to say, “If they can’t get the basics right, how can I trust them to teach me anything else?” Not only do I think statements/questions like those are shallow & ignorant, but they are also rude & idiotic (if I can use that word as a Christian).

So I want to share a few reason why I did this, and some things I learned from this exercise.

This was an exercise in listening.

Reading the opposing side of an issue puts you in a place where you are forced to sit down and “put a sock in it” so you can listen to what someone else has to say without ever getting a chance to respond — an exercise in listening.

How many times have we built a straw man for people we think we understand. We throw around accusations that people just ignore scripture, are ignorant of it, or have impure motives. We build this image in our minds of what those on the other side of our convictions must be like in order to believe differently than me (because obviously I’m doctrinally perfect - duh). But in most cases we have never actually stopped to listen to what people are saying.

We are terrible listeners. We always have something to say, and never have time to listen. We respond before someone finishes their thought because we’ve already formed our thoughts. We build images of people without ever really hearing them. We make assumptions without listening. We take their words and twist them into something they never meant. We are BAD listeners.

Reading a book from an opposing position forced me to shut my mouth and listen for once. This was a lesson I desperately needed to learn.

This was an exercise in humility.

I learned that I am wrong more than I am right. Reading this book was humbling to say the least. I realized that the opposing side of aisle had reasoning grounded in history, theology, and examples. They are not dumb. They are not ignorant of the scriptures. They are not advocating a political ideology. They are teaching and exegeting scripture in its historical contexts, and doing it extremely well (yes, you read that right…).

This slapped me in the face because all of the straw man reasoning I once had crumbled. The reasons I used to give for them being wrong were no longer acceptable, and it humbled me. They weren’t just “ignoring Paul’s words.” They weren’t just “unaware of those texts.” They weren’t just “pushing an agenda.” These are conservative Biblical scholars who have forgotten more about the Bible and its world than I have learned. I was humbled at their feet as I watched them use the same exegetical methods and practices I use. I was humbled to learn that I was the student sitting before them as they shared with me what the greek language conveys, the historical data presents, and the letters of Paul are demonstrating.

Learning that people with differing views are not ignorant, dumb, and uneducated was a lesson I needed to learn in humility.

This was an exercise in discernment.

All of this led me to a place of deeper discernment. It forced me to ask “Why do I believe what I believe, and he believes what he believes?” We are both educated, smart, Godly, and honest people studying the same Bible yet we come away with opposing conclusions. Why?

It forced me to discern his exegesis (which was incredibly well done). It forced me to discern my exegesis (which needed much refinement, and ironically he helped me develop). It forced me to analyze the historical data. It forced me to ask good theological questions and reason from the information I had before me.

I think this is an area Christians have done very poorly in. It’s not that we don’t discern. It’s that we automatically discern. What I mean is that we practice discernment by identifying words/phrases/doctrines/teachings that we know we disagree with and as soon as we hear them, we default to our straw man of them, and pull from our echo chambers to refute them. That’s not discernment, it’s repeating what we’ve heard. We must learn to actually think through their reasoning and our reasoning well.

Discernment is one of the greatest tools a student/preacher/christian has, and I desperately needed to sharpen it. Reading an opposing book challenged me to discern.

So what?

Just to be clear to all of those who read this and slowly picked up stones to stone me, I have not changed my position on women preachers/leaders in the church — you can put your stones down.

BUT…

Pick up a book you disagree with. Read authors you know you differ with. Don’t feed the echo chamber, it will not make you better, smarter, or more well reasoned. Read a book that forces you to sit down, zip your lips, and listen. Read a book that humbles you at the feet of someone who is smarter than you. Read a book that stretches your brain and forces you to use real discernment. You will be a stronger, more faithful, more thoughtful, and more well reasoned person & Christian because of it.